She Builds Her House

Being a parent is difficult, especially in these modern days. There are many things parents are supposed to do, especially mothers, and I believe that is what makes motherhood a burden instead of a joy. Motherhood is hard because it tends to reveal our past scars , once in a while memories of what our parents did and did not do come to our mind and suddenly we enter a spiral of doubt about their love towards us but when we make mistakes we tend to be empathetic and to excuse them for those unmet needs. . . After a decade of motherhood, I finally accept that my daughters will grow up with unmet needs because they are being raised by a sinner. Ultimately, we all Christian mothers do what we believe is good and right for our children. We do our best, and that's what matters because the Lord will meet the rest.  Many parents have failed in trying to meet their inner needs of acceptance and self-esteem through their children by living through them. Many are the women who alway...

  "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you" Psalm 55:22 God does not command us to feel good about His word but to believe it.  No one told us that being a mom would not be an easy peasy lemon squeezy. I think that if they would have told us we would still be moms because we would not believe them and because we can not stop watching them growing, singing, and smiling. ( yep, those moments happen  every day!)   No one told us that we were going to be under a lot of stress and emotional turmoils so we were not prepared. And still, some moms are still trying to figure out how to do this job called: Being a mom. Who cares if you are still trying to manage your morning job with your responsibilities as a mom? Who cares when you cry trying to prove to the world that SAHM do work? Who cares when you don't know just what to do. . .Jesus, Jesus cares.  Thankfully, we can boldly say: Jesus, you understand me. I know you care about this or that.I don't ha...

Difficult children make unhappy parents and encourage negative parenting. Adults who lack self-confidence as parents end up being despised by their children. These parents desperately try to appease their children's misbehavior through play and fun. In a home without rules, children do what they want. Children can also sniff a parent fearful of them and the result of this is deep contempt. Children love power games and for them, disrespect and contempt get along together which is the opposite of affection and discipline. Parents' goal should be to express genuine love to their children; dedication combined with reasonable discipline; define limits and set their leadership. Remember what the word of God says:  "Correct your son and he will give you rest, and he will give joy to your soul." Proverbs 29:17 Also, remember that disciplining your children is not physically abusing them by brutally punishing them. References: Coon, D., & Mitterer, J.O. (2016). Introducti...

1. Never talk or show your feelings. Never express gratitude towards your partner. 2. Just pretend that everything is always fine. Be accommodating even if you are upset. 3. Always win, never lose. 4. Always be busy. In this way, you can make your partner feel little, worthless and unimportant. 5. Always be right. 6. Never debate for fear of having differences. 7. Thinking that the couple is a fortune teller and knows everything. 8. Taking care of personal needs first without looking after the needs of the couple. 9. Not having shared dreams. 10. Keep the television on at all times. References: Coon, D., & Mitterer, J.O. (2016). Introduction to psychology: gateways to mind and behavior (14th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

The biggest gift that you can give to your children will not be your home or your bank account. The greatest gift that you can give to your children is your time. Parents today are so busy with work and school that there is no more time to share with their children. The world tells us when we should be mothers and how many children we should have but it tells us that taking care of children is wasting our time and that only rich people are happy. So, we see parents working 16 hours a day to achieve that coveted happiness; meanwhile, there is a son alone at home with a desire to talk. Your child does not need you to stop working and spend 24 hours a day, but he does need a little quality of time where he can tell you about his friends, his favorite shows, and those important things in life.  Having family time keeps your children away from bad decisions. According to studies, the ladies who remain virgins until marriage have had excellent communication with their mothers and a very ...

According to the Early Child Care Research Network, you can enroll your child in a quality daycare without fearing of dangerous consequences. What is important to avoid is to enroll the child in a low-quality facility and to avoid for the baby having to spend long hours under the care of third parties (even when it is a quality daycare). This fact added to the neglect of the parents about the child when they get home can have serious consequences in the mother-father-child relationship. Poor quality child care can create problems that previously did not exist in the child. If you are looking for a daycare for your child it is important to take into account the following: * There has to be a small group of children under the care of one caregiver. * The caregivers of this place must be trained. * Minimum staff turnover within the daycare. In accordance with the above, you can enroll your child in daycare while maintaining the same attachment with your child. At the same ti...

Many are the brides that experience a drop in self-esteem before marriage. Luckily, a bride won't need a designer wedding dress to build her self-esteem neither she will need to spend hundreds of dollars to hire the best stylist in town. A bride's s elf-esteem begins with the security of having a loving husband. You are already beautiful to the eyes of the man that you love. The man that is close to marrying you. The great advice that I can offer you is that instead of highlighting all of the things that you don't like about your body,  highlight the physical features that you like the most and invest some money in showing them up. For example, if you have beautiful lips, invest some money to buy a special lipstick or lipgloss. Indeed, you will have boosted your self-esteem by the end of the day.  Another great advice to boost your self-esteem is by having a quality of time for you. Treat yourself for a day in the spa, a massage or just have some coffee with your...

"There is a so-called 'spectator apathy' effect that reveals to us that people often fail to help when other potential helpers are around. When it comes to a wedding, almost everyone believes or suppose that everything has been planning ahead or that there is someone that is ready to help when something just goes wrong. This is why it is wise to make one person responsible for your wedding in order for you to enjoy and relax. For example, a wedding planner will be in charge to look for a stylist that is going to assist you at every moment in the event. In my whole experience, I have seen brides with a messy makeup but nobody has dared to tell them to retouch their makeup or hair. So, when the wedding photographer came with the wedding pictures, they screamed in hate and deception over all of their guests, and these brides instantly regret their decision to not hire a wedding coordinator. Every bride should know that there is no one to make guilty as there is a d...

Here are some characteristics of children who are or have been sexually abused: 1. They no longer show interest in matters related to their sexuality. 2. Depression, low self-esteem, irritability, or estrangement from family, friends, and school. 3. Nightmares or sleep problems. 4. Bad behavior, aggressiveness, suicidal behavior, or unusual high-risk behavior such as riding a bicycle in the middle of traffic, climbing very tall trees, among others. (Coon & Mitterer, 2010, pg. 386.) Parents should teach their children to say no and to assert their tastes and preferences, as well. It is important to teach them that it is not correct to keep secrets and it is necessary to maintain full control over the child's social networks to avoid sexual abuse. References Coon, D., & Mitterer, J.O. (2016). Introduction to psychology: Gateways to mind and behavior (14th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

If I don't give him what he asks, he will leave me. Could it be true? Many are the women who fall into this trap; but let me tell you that if you give in to what you do not want to give in, your partner will use you to satisfy his sexual needs over and over again until he will completely lose sexual interest in you and then he is going to leave you. According to Coon & Mitterer (2010), "There is the so-called Coolidge effect, in which a male (speaking of animals) is allowed to mate as many times as he wants with a female. After a time, the male will lose interest in this female but when providing him with a new female, he will feel the deep desire to mate over and over again until he is bored." (p. 343). The Coolidge effect is also applied to humans. That is why there are many women that we see these days only used. No matter how we can satisfy his sexual needs, the man that pressures will end up bored and will immediately seek a new love that does not make hi...

Fighting with fiance over wedding planning can happen especially when we don't know what is the best time to discuss matters of importance related to the big day. It is very common to see that relatives and friends want a share of opinion when it comes to deciding over someone's wedding. I want to share with you just two simple tips to avoid pre-wedding fights: 1. Verbal insults and threats are linked in parallel to high temperatures. Avoid starting a conversation about wedding planning when it is very hot outside. Wedding plans should be discussed in a cool place. 2. Every time you have to discuss something important related to the wedding, serve a cool drink for you and the other person or people involved in the conversation. Sometimes planning a wedding can ruin a relationship especially when both of the families want different weddings for their children. These short tips can help you to avoid those pre-wedding fights that sometimes happen right before the wedding...

Freud believed that we are a product of the mental health that our inner child had in the past. Some of us grew up with an alcoholic parent, some others were sexually abused and some children grew up under abject poverty which is a big stressor in childhood.  I am a Christian psychologist that thinks more in humanistic perceptions. Humanistic psychologists say that every human being has the capacity to chose the life they want to live. They can choose to live a creative, meaningful, and satisfying life. I believe that every human being has the capacity to shine over the shadows of the past but I am worried about these days because they are becoming parallels to what Freud used to think. Freud's thoughts can be applied when parenting our children. We are raising the future adults that will pack the hospitals because of panic attacks and depression. It is scary for me to know that a child has symptoms of depression at the age of 5. The good news is that parents were given by G...

Happy people are efficient and productive workers. Many times we err thinking that our salary should be destined only for the payment of debts or bills and to cover the needs and tastes of others but never ours. That is why some people look at work as a burden and not as a blessing. People who feel guilty about enjoying their salary are full of frustrations, and frustration only causes bitterness, aggression, and unhappiness. It is important that you as an employee invest a weekly or biweekly amount of your salary for your personal delight. Take yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant or simply buy the little accessory that you looked in the mall last time; the same time when you were buying shoes for your children.  It is healthy for you and for those around you that you enjoy your work and enjoy it. Today I invite you to follow the advice of the wise Solomon when in Ecclesiastes advises us to enjoy the fruit of our work. God bless you today with peace ♥ John 3...

Self-fulfilling prophecies are expectations that direct people to act in ways that make these prophecies come true. Many times we make mistakes when judging a child's future by the mistakes of his or her parents and in this way, we also mark his or her future. I will give you an example: I have heard so many times phrases like: "You are going to end up like your mother." The girl is then judged if she is seen talking to a boy. She is judged for her mother's mistakes, even if it was just a mistake. This girl will grow up thinking that her destiny is to make the same mistakes that her mother did and that is how the prophecy of her future is fulfilled by herself without realizing it. It also happens with the child of very limited resources who at an early age is told: "Stop studying so much, you better work because the poor never stop being poor even if they study." This boy will hardly finish college. . . As a Christian, I fully understand that my fut...

A man does not cheat on his wife because she is ugly, homely, or because he got fat. A man is not unfaithful either because his wife spends more time with her children or because "nothing is the same anymore." The man who feels that nothing is the same in his marriage talks to his wife to seek to improve the marriage, especially if there are children involved since divorce is devastating for children. The man who is unfaithful is unfaithful because it excites him to be unfaithful. The adrenaline that man feels when he is unfaithful is so great that its effects can be compared to the same that cocaine produces.  Unfortunately, if your husband is unfaithful to you, he will not change. Consider yourself tied to a drug addict. We generalize by saying that only men are unfaithful, but also women tend to be. We blame our men for overworking or not being romantic, just for mentioning a couple of examples.  In both scenarios, a spouse can not blame third partie...

The persistence of some people trying to maintain an abusive and toxic relationship is something that continues to amaze us. That is why I would like to explain a little about this behavior so you can understand why these people never give up. 1. These people have a distorted view of reality as they justify their partner's toxic and harmful behavior based on the few good memories they treasure. This is how they justify bad behavior and abuse as a result of bad luck. For example: "Maybe she or he had a bad day at work." "Maybe she or he is tired." "It is because his or her traumas from the past.", in short, the account is infinite. 2. These people believe that no matter how much physical or emotional abuse they may receive, eventually, the toxic person(the abuser) will change. It is very sad to know that people who become attached to a toxic relationship hold in their hearts the hope that if they work hard they will eventually make the abuser c...

Children need to talk It is important for children to talk to their parents no matter their age. There will be a time when your son or daughter will need to talk about important issues, but since their parents never encouraged the habit of conversation, this helpless human being will have to discuss this important issue with his or her friends. You will lose that privilege of knowing what is going on in your child's life and you will also miss the opportunity to help him or her. So, let's start today. . . Here are some healthy activities that even exhausted parents can implement to keep the habit of good conversation with their children: 1. Dinner with the family with televisions and cell phones turned off. 2. Play board games on weekends. (Monopoly, chess, etc.) 3. Cooking together. 4. Building things together (puzzles, small cars, houses with pallets, etc.) 5. Adopting a pet. 6. Cultivating mutual interests. For example; sewing, crafts, painting, etc. Remember t...

Unlike boys, girls have innate observation skills, including the ability to recognize tones in their voices. For example, when you breastfeed a girl and she bites you, you will immediately make an expression of pain. The girl will then hardly repeat it again. On the other hand, the little boy will be less able to recognize his mother's displeasure and will ignore it. By understanding this, it is important to emphasize that girls are more susceptible to their environment and more observant. That is why in times of financial stress or marital conflict the most affected will always be the girls. Girls always observe even those small steps that we believe as parents that they did not observe. Just take heed. . . References: Dobson, J., Dr. (2010). Bringing up girls (Building a family legacy). IL: Tyndale momentum.

According to the psychological theory of Functionalism, learning new things helps us adapt to the various situations we face. In a nutshell: Learning new things helps us to be able to face various traumatic situations throughout our lives. In this difficult situation that we face in the world regarding COVID-19, it is very common that the emotional health of many people is being affected, and to avoid falling into depression or anxiety; I recommend using this theory in your lives. Invest your time reading an educational book or, make use of free internet platforms where you will find cooking courses, sewing, design, or carpentry workshops, to mention some examples. Learning new things will help you keep your mind busy😉 It's not about saying, "Stay home." It's about saying, "Do what you said you wanted to do if you had time."

According to Coon & Mitterer (2010), Most child molesters are married and a third of them are parents. In cases of pedophilia, the offender is a close friend or relative of the child (Abel Wiegel & Osborn, 2007.) Most sexual abusers are passive and religious. They consume child pornography and as children were also victims of or witnesses to sexual abuse. According to studies practiced by Elliot, Browne, & Kilcoyne(1995), these are some tactics used by child molesters: 1. Most of them act alone. 2. Most abuse takes place in the abuser's home. 3. Many abusers gain access to the child through child care. 4. Children frequently receive toys, candy, games, or prizes from the abuser. 5. The abuser tries to hook the child into his sexual trap through open sex talks or by showing explicit images of it. 6. The abuser then uses threats, force, and anger to gain complicity with the child and thus keep him silent and subdued. Coon, D., & Mitterer, J.O. (2016). ...